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<title>“I’m sorry if this sounds weird” by yikesola</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28395579">“I’m sorry if this sounds weird”</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola'>yikesola</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>fmdin2020 [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>2009, Early Days, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:14:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>632</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28395579</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s a lot of noise in Phil’s head tonight. So he needs distraction. And lately Dan has been his very favourite distraction.<br/>A fic about clutter and buzz.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dan Howell/Phil Lester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>fmdin2020 [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995946</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>“I’m sorry if this sounds weird”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Fic Most Days in November*, Dialogue Prompt: I’m sorry if this sounds weird</p><p>*and yes december too, fight me</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There’s a lot of noise in Phil’s head tonight. He’d gone into Manchester earlier and even though he’s now back in his childhood bedroom, the sounds of the city are still cluttering his thoughts. Plus his parents had been talking all through dinner, helpful and well-meant, about how he needs to have some kind of plan now that he’s done with uni. But all stuff he’s heard them say before and all stuff he tells himself all the time. So everything bouncing around his skull feels overcrowded. There’s nothing he can do tonight to change his life, fix everything. He can’t just <i>do</i> it. So he needs distraction, the next best thing. </p><p>And lately Dan has been his very favourite distraction. Dan, down south in Wokingham with the pretty dimples and loud laugh. Dan, who likes Phil’s YouTube videos and doesn’t think Phil is failing at adulthood and who always makes him feel better whenever they settle in for a long chat on Skype. </p><p>Phil would really like to get into that tonight. He thinks it’s the exact distraction he needs. But his head is just too crowded. </p><p>He still answers when Dan rings of course, the specific Skype ringtone pavlovian at this point and making Phil smile. But it isn’t twenty minutes before his already short fuse is burnt up. </p><p>“Hey,” he says, interrupting Dan in the middle of a story about getting sunstroke a few years back, “I’m sorry if this sounds weird, but can we like… chill?” </p><p>Dan looks confused. </p><p>“I mean, like,” Phil shrugs, “Be on Skype but just be hanging out. My brain is full of bees.” </p><p>“Ouch,” Dan laughs. “Glad you’re not allergic.”</p><p>“I think it’s like the only thing I’m not allergic to.” Phil also laughs. Even with a buzzing brain, Dan can make him laugh. </p><p>Dan’s smile is still wide. He doesn’t look like Phil let him down, which Phil had been so afraid of. Instead he says, “I could play <i>Guitar Hero</i>.”</p><p>“Show off, you mean.” </p><p>“Hey, if you’re impressed, so be it!” </p><p>Phil watches the little Dan on his screen walk to the corner of his room and grab one of his many plastic guitars. He doesn’t say anything other than general and genuine praise for three songs. Then Dan asks if Phil is bored. </p><p>“Literally not,” Phil shakes his head. “I’m a little brother, I love watching someone play video games while I wait my turn.” </p><p>Dan has a bit of a blush. Phil figures he must be tomato red in order for the grainy screen of his laptop to pick up the blush at all. </p><p>“You’re good,” Phil says, with the hope of seeing the blush get all the redder.</p><p>It does.</p><p>“Thanks,” Dan says through a crooked smile. </p><p>Phil’s brain is still buzzing, but it’s a whole different frequency now. As Dan starts up a fourth song, Phil thinks about how the buzzing includes Dan’s groan at Phil’s puns, and his squeaking falsetto that joins Phil when he randomly busts out Britney Spears lyrics. He’s buzzing with the warmth in his gut when Dan posts a nakedbooth and buzzing with the sweat that shows up at the back of his knees when the night is warm and Dan pulls his shirt off over his head as they keep chatting but not chatting.</p><p>It’s nice to exist with someone, even if he’s actually a terrible distance away from Dan. </p><p>It’s nice to have no expectations to meet other than that he is himself. </p><p>When he finally falls asleep hours later, after seeing Dan complete an insane amount of expert mode levels and saying goodnight for longer than strictly necessary, there’s no more buzzing. There’s no more clutter or noise. The night is quiet, and Phil dreams of having Dan nearby.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading— come say hi on <a href="http://yikesola.tumblr.com/post/638797910370336768/im-sorry-if-this-sounds-weird">tumblr</a> !</p></blockquote></div></div>
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